I Tried Everything To Heal Myself BUT Look at my Alcohol Habits

It was weeks before or after my sister’s bachelorette party in New Orleans (I can’t remember now but it was all in the same month!) and I had just got a Soul Reading by a lady on the internet.

It was a legit reading! That woman had a gift, and she was spot on. She said some things in that reading that to this day I am still contemplating.

But I was over here buying this reading, AND I am also over here getting wasted for four days in New Orleans celebrating my sister getting married!

I didn’t think anything of it at the time.

I grew up reading Sylvia Browne books, went to her shows, saw her live, went to her ‘church’, read all the Dolores Cannon books, and watched the Secret.

I was fascinated with the spiritual world.

And I was also getting drunk and dabbling in drugs every week.

It was like I was living two different lives! And I was. I was ‘searching’ for something that gave me meaning in this world, while also numbing out from it.

I was getting a Soul Reading by this lady telling me who I AM underneath it all! Saying I use alcohol to ‘blow off steam’. That I am gifted in making jewelry (had NO idea back then about anything with jewelry). Said I was to go into nutrition education somehow. Had never thought about that until then but that made sense, I was always interested in healthy living! All of that sounded RIGHT IN MY BONES.

Okay. So I listened to that for 3o minutes and it was now back to my regular scheduled program!

I got a trip to go on with my posse and my favorite sister in the whole world who is getting MARRIED… we’re about to get wasted… in NEW ORLEANS!!

PARTY TIME.

Heading to New Orleans, we all started drinking immediately upon getting there. I stayed drunk on that vacation! Drank so much alcohol that I had to be carried back to the hotel room, not because I was wasted, but because I couldn’t walk.

My toe was twice its size. It was red, I couldn’t touch it, I couldn’t wear shoes, I had to get back to the hotel room PRONTO to elevate my foot.

Well shit, there goes that fun time! That was what I was thinking. That this has to happen NOW??

And mind you, I never ONCE thought, “Oh hey? Is alcohol doing something to my body?” I blamed it on walking the New Orleans Street and it being so dirty. LOL. My mind was like NOPE. Not even looking at alcohol right now!

Side note: I always came home from vacation completely wrecked. I drank and drank the minute we got on the plane till the day I had to leave! It was always so awful coming home from vacations. I needed a vacation from the vacation.

But back to my point! This vacation in particular was ROUGH.

I had to go see a doctor IMMEDIATELY when I got back home. My foot looked like a table had fallen on it. Purple, red, bruised, toe nail hanging off of it.. It was bad! This guy I saw was not just a doctor either, he was a foot SPECIALIST so I thought he’s going to fix me right up!

He didn’t.

He didn’t ask me anything about my diet or alcohol drinking. He just said I need to quit drinking alcohol so I could take these pills that are damaging to my liver and I couldn’t do both, take the medicine AND drink alcohol.

WHAT A MESSAGE COMING HOME FROM VACATION!!

Basically, telling me I need to quit drinking alcohol.

I need to take a break and just BE for three months.

I wasn’t even putting two and two together! at this particular time in my life I was getting this reading AND being forced to quit drinking alcohol! Because when he said that to me, I was terrified to quit. It was my LIFESTYLE!! It was June, I was gearing up for the summer party’s and making plans for bars I had to go to!

But I had to heal my toe. Which I later found out was GOUT, a candida overgrowth, and alcohol was not only the root cause to these health issues, but made them WORSE. (but all that information came to me three years later, on yet another vacation!)

 --------

I tried SO hard to look at everything in my life BUT the alcohol drinking!

Those three months went and passed, and I went back to drinking like nothing happened. Not only was I regularly drinking again, but now I was trying to go to school and heal!

I read her energy forecast every week – and went to the bars that weekend.

I enrolled in nutrition school – and drank alcohol as I’m learning about eating healthy… which when I was hungover, I was not doing myself!

I followed all the star galactic federation pages, the astrology pages, and picked tarot cards – while my life was spinning more and more out of control.

I wasn’t just drinking either.

I was using harder and harder substances for longer periods of time. The drinking wasn’t enough. I was getting drunk, and all my senses went out the window. I would be hanging out with my friends for a casual night in and some beers, and before we knew it, we had a bag of coke and stayed up all night.

The drunken choices I was making was becoming more and more violent. Dark. Depressive.

The living two different lives of trying to heal myself, educate myself, become a better person AND drinking alcohol and doing drugs was like walking through quick sand!

I was starting to have week-long panic attacks.

I was starting to feel a deep dark depressive hole in my life.

I would ask myself, “Why am I feeling like this?” I was on the ‘right’ track. All my boxes were checked off for my life. School, check. Energy forecast, check. Learning spiritual stuff, check. But here I was, DROWNING in booze and binges. What am I missing here??

I whole heartedly did not SEE that alcohol was the rot.

That every bad decision I was ever making was when I drank alcohol. That I was going deeper and deeper into a depression I had never felt before.

I don’t care how many ‘energy updates, tarot cards, soul readings, facts about nutrition, astrology pages I followed on IG’, my life was STILL A MESS!

Because I wasn’t looking at what was right in front of me.

I was trying to do everything in my being to NOT HAVE TO LOOK AT DRINKING ALCOHOL.

Even when I REALLY wanted all that beauty, love, and spiritual awareness in my life. Even when I LOVED that stuff! It was all something I was doing to occupy my time.

Because the REAL work I couldn’t ignore, the work of getting sober.

Everything in my life depended on that. My SOUL depended on that. That is why I call it Soulfully Sober because I wasn’t just not drinking alcohol, I was coming home to myself. I was throwing out all that NONSENSE spiritual woo-woo crap that had ZERO effect on my life.

Did it get me SOBER?

No. I actually spiraled more and more into substance abuse.

Did it get me HEALTHY?

No. I had depression, anxiety, GOUT, inflammation, and a horrible candida overgrowth that caused all these issues! The ALCOHOL was growing that candida for 15 years! It’s why I CRAVED the alcohol and was in a fetal position in a panic attack for five days straight.

When everyone was saying alcohol was okay in moderation, I was slowly dying inside. The doctor never told me to quit. that spiritual teacher said wine was good for me. That nutrition school was a scam because it tried telling me that alcohol was okay when organic.

I was going in circles and my life was proof of that. The alcohol dependence didn’t go away, I was continuing to drink. I wasn’t ADDRESSING what needed to GO, so I could heal!

The most profound spiritual teaching you can ever have is sobriety - going alcohol free will be THE key to unlock your full potential!

It’s why you are in pain right now. Suffering. Miserable. Anxiety filled after a night of drinking, sitting on your couch… alone. Feeling lost and hopeless. I know that feeling. It’s not something to brush off. It is there for a REASON! Nudging you, telling you – this isn’t it.

Thinking you are doing all the ‘right’ things, but nothing is changing in your life for the better. THAT is what you have to look at!!

I hope you see that. I hope you FEEL that. I hope my examples above SHOW YOU how that actually plays out in someones life. We want to see how our DAY TO DAY life is improving!!

Everything in my life changed when I got rid of the noise and got back to MYSELF.

 It was the alcohol that had to go. that is when my life transformed in ways I couldn’t have imagined!

Your road to freedom and self love starts here:

Sober For An Hour 7-Day Sobriety Program!

<3

Mahina